Saturday, December 15, 2018

in Love with Tragedy

I want to break and be broken. To love until I destroy.
Or maybe until I'm destroyed.

Take the weight of your abandonment, of your distaste, and place it gingerly on my chest.
I want you to break my ribs

one

by

one.

Crush my lungs until they deflate. Suffocate me. Push me to the ground as I gasp for air. Give me a reason to feel empty and worthless, because I need something tangible to dwell on.

Tell me you love me. I'm begging you. Make me feel impossibly special, incandescently happy. Look at me with those eyes. Convince me that I'm the only one for you, that I'm the only person that matters.

And then, once I start floating, 
take it all away.

Shoot me down swiftly with a single catastrophic arrow.

And when I crash down with a violent thud, kick me
with
our
memories.

Beat me down with incessant reminders of what
could
have
been.

Leave me in tears, on my knees. Shower me with the tragedy that I crave, that I deserve. Drown me in my own regrets. Make me wish I had never taken a chance on you. On us.

<Lucy Cartin

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